I have been there not wanting to forgive because of the pain that person caused me. Yes, I wanted to repay back to make the person feel the pain I was feeling. I could not understand why things had to turn out this way if I did everything to be a good friend to this person.
One day, I received a call that my dad was very ill suffering from chronic ulcers. He was rapidly losing blood, and things were not looking good for him because the doctors could not locate the ulcer to stop the bleeding. Well, to make a long story short, I knew I had to ask God for help since his condition was rapidly deteriorating. Ironically, the previous Sunday, my pastor had preached about James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” He expounded on how people don't get healed or missed their blessings, because they have refuse to forgive, in other words, they have an unforgiving heart.
The next morning, as I was praying for God to heal my dad, I quickly remember these verses and realized that the Lord wanted me to forgive the person who had hurt me, before He performed His healing on my dad. So, I decided that I was going to make the call at 8:00 am that morning, it was only 5:00 am when I started to pray and worship the Lord for strength. At this point my body was trembling, my thoughts were all over the place, I kept getting negative thoughts on all the reasons why I should not forgive, but my heart wanted to be obedient to the Lord, and ultimately, I knew deep inside that my father’s healing would only come after I forgave.
After, three hours of prayer and mediation on the word, I made the call, and forgave. It was difficult, but I did it. Subsequently, the enemy began planting more negative thoughts on how stupid I was for letting this person get away with what they did. I almost felt for the enemy’s schemes, but decided not to listen and call my pastor for prayer, who told me not to focus on that, and be at ease because the Lord is happy with me, and due to obedience I will reap a great harvest. Today, I can say that he was correct. My dad immediately felt better and was released from the hospital that same week. Many other blessings came upon my life but I will talk about that another time.
My relationship with this person is going well. It is true that you do not forget what happened, but I can tell you for sure that God healed me emotionally. The pain and hurt is completely gone. I am done with it. God is good isn’t He.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24, “So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.”
You have two choices you either live a life with freedom and love or a life with torment and misery. God wants you to be free…free to love at all costs because He loves you.