Sometimes, we can't explain why we go through things. Life takes its on course. But, isn't God in control? Yes, nothing is off His radar, He sees all, He approves all. We don't know why He allows things to happened to His love ones, but we do know that the Lord loves us and is with us. John 14:18,26 says, I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you. The Comforter which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, HE shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you.
All I know is that no matter how much my heart groans, I will place my faith in Christ, who provides me with strength, and gives me hope that things will work out for the best. Why? Because the word says that God has nothing, but the best for His children. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, "What God has planned for people who love him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. It has never even entered our minds."
God is in full control. Jesus has paid the price, these emotions shall also pass, this is nothing compared to what my Lord has suffered for me.
Praise the Lord.